And...well, I still don't really feel like a mother. To rephrase, I guess I don't really feel like what I thought a mother would feel like. Thus begins my discussion....
One of my favorite things about my husband is that we seriously can talk for hours about anything and everything. By anything I mean topics including but not limited to: reciting Office quotes, old baseball cards we used to have and how they will pay for Lydia's wedding, how we could easily polish off a dozen KK donuts together, whether flossing is really worth it, etc. In more deep introspective dialogues, we wrestle with what God is teaching us individually and discuss fighting the emotional tension between having hope in our Savior's plan of redemption and living in a dying word with much sadness. (The later conversations are more fruitful, but I wouldn't give anything for the former topics.) Recently, we have been talking about our roles as a mother and father (hence my original topic). An ongoing discussion I've had with Ryan is how happy I am to be a mother but that I still feel like the little girl in 4th grade with the snoopy glasses. I still feel like I am playing house. My "mommy" feeling has not sunk in yet. When I take Lydia to the grocery store and walk up and down the aisles...I feel like someone should stop me and say "um, you have no idea what you are doing do you." And upon this assertion I probably would have to reply..."um no, I don't" and laugh. But as it were, no one has stopped me yet. Ha! I have fooled the world...people actually take me seriously. Maybe I will always view the role of "mom" as that next generation above me, just out of reach and as I get older, so does the "mom" role and thus it never actually applies directly to me. To summarize this random collection of thoughts, I am loving being a mom. Its a role I never thought would fit so well. There are times when I even surprise myself at figuring out that what Lydia needed is exactly what I gave her. So until it actually sinks in...I am having a heck of a lot of fun loving on this little girl and playing house.
On a lighter note...here are a few Lydia updates:
- she is 25% percentile on weight, 75% on height...a dear friend exclaimed, "She will be long and lean just like Ryan!"....hmmmm :( ....remind me to write a blog on the weight insecurities after pregnancy - ha! These stats were taken at her 4th month appointment...I'm a late poster.
- she is starting to fill in some bald spots on her head with dark hair
- still has blue eyes
- rolling over like crazy and sleeping on her tummy
- giggling at most anything Ryan does
- sucking all three fingers
- loves shelby licking her face
- loves my putting Karo syrup in her bottle when she hasn't pooped...I mean, I guess its like liquid ice cream
- wakes up so happy in the morning
- teeth will come in any day now
...will post some pictures soon of my darling little girl
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